I have been on the mini pill since Teagan was about 6 weeks old. I don't really know why other than that I wanted to make sure to get through the first year of her life without becoming pregnant again. I feel very strongly about breastfeeding AT LEAST through the first year (and ideally until self-weaning), so I wanted to be sure to give her at least that. Plus, I want to give her her time to be "the baby".
Now, if you know anything about my history, you know thinking that pregnancy is likely/possible in the first year is ridiculous. I was only on BC for about two months after we were married. 22 months later, we finally got pregnant (not trying, not preventing) only to miscarry shortly after. 6 months after that, with hardcore TRYING we got pregnant with Ian; so 28 months total. While I was in my early 20s and at the supposed "peak" of my fertility. I didn't get a period until Ian was 17 months old, he weaned at 22 months. We started trying right around then, and 22 months later, we finally got pregnant with Teagan. So, seriously, I'm not getting pregnant this year. I'm just not. But mentally, I felt the need to do *something* to be sure, just to give all the benefits I can to Teagan. (I do know it is completely possible to breastfeed through an entire pregnancy and even tandem nurse once the new baby comes. But I also know a lot of babies/toddlers self-wean during pregnancy, and I don't want to risk that before we've hit the 12-month mark.)
I used the minipill for the first 17 months with Ian, then used the NuvaRing for a couple of months to regulate my cycle after that (my first period was stopped after 6 weeks by switching to the ring). I really didn't have any noticeable side effects from the minipill, though I didn't start it until Ian was 6 months old since the hubby was deployed and I had no need of any kind of birth control. This time, however, oh my goodness. I am a mood swinging mess. It was tolerable when there was some "swing" in my moods, meaning I was happy at least part of the time, but over the last few weeks I have been pretty much miserable. I'm just cranky and angry all the time. And I have ZERO sex drive, which is unfair for my poor husband (not that he wants to spend all that much time around me right now anyway!).
So, three days ago, I stopped taking the pill. Already I feel a HUGE improvement in my mood (could also have something to do with that fact that Teagan slept 9 hours straight last night for the first time in weeks!). I'm alert, I'm happy, I have my motivation back. I was starting to feel concern that I should be getting checked out for post partum depression, but the fact that each day off the pill has been markedly better than the day before has me hopeful that that was the main source of my issues, not PPD.
I've never liked the idea of hormonal BC, I don't like to "mess" with things, but at the same time I don't really know what else to do. Right now it's not such an issue. I'm only 8 months postpartum; I likely have a good 9-12 months before I even start cycling again (based on my previous experience with Ian). The problem comes once I do start. Based on my last experience, there is a good chance I will bleed and bleed until I do something to stop it-something hormonal. Once it stops, I'm not so worried about getting pregnant again. We would like one more, though we know it will probably take awhile, if it even happens at all. BUT the catch is that I have endometriosis. And the best treatment for endo is pregnancy or birth control (or no period at all thanks to breastfeeding!). The longer I go without achieving a pregnancy once my period starts again, the worse the endo is likely to get. The worse the endo gets, the harder it will likely be to conceive. Once the endo has grown, there aren't many options outside of surgery for getting rid of it. I can reduce the symptoms by going on BC, but that obviously won't help us in conceiving. Add to that that Hazen doesn't want to go crazy trying again, he just wants to wait and see what happens; no doctors, no testing, no surgeries, no "deposits" in a cup...see the issue?
Oh well. For now I am BC free and totally happy. I guess I'll deal with the rest when the time comes.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Spending Time Intentionally
I don't know why, but I go into these periods of absolute laziness. It's really bad...I will sit at the computer for hours and do nothing. I only have a few pages that I frequent, and I will just cycle between those pages continuously for long amounts of time, like something will have changed on one of them in the 10 minutes since I've last been to that page. Hazen told me a couple of weeks ago that he thinks I have some post partum depression going on (thanks, Dear...you're kind of supposed to mention that when you first notice it!), and I wouldn't be surprised if I do have it mildly. I am pretty anti-medication, so I'm trying to make myself more "aware" of it and pay more attention to what I'm doing.
One of my biggest failings as a Christian is that I don't spend time in the Word. Like, at all. I will tell you with 100% certainty that I just don't have TIME...that's CRAP. I just choose to spend the time doing other things. Like the cycling through the internet thing. If I can find time for that, surely I can find a few minutes to spend with God! And it's not just that I spend time doing useless things, I spend time doing things that need to be done, but I do it in a way and at times that really don't allow me to make the most of the hours in the day. For example, my mornings are always chaotic and for no reason other than that I make them that way. We get up. I spend time on the computer. I might make my way to the shower an hour later. I might get dressed after that...or not. I'll know we need to do our schooling and/or run errands. But we CAN'T because Teagan is almost ready for her morning nap...yeah. I basically waste two hours every morning. I get her down for nap, then I have to do the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher). On schooling days, depending on how we did in the morning before nap, we either finish that up or I clean up from it. If it's a cleaning day (typically Monday and Friday) I will clean. These are all important things, but things that could be done more efficiently and at better timing.
Don't get me wrong, I am BUSY. My days seriously feel non-stop, go-go-go. Even when I'm doing my computer cycling, I'm constantly up doing other things. I just find myself back in this chair looking at things that don't matter as opposed to getting ready to do something else that we should or could be doing.
So this week, I have started to use my time intentionally. And the interesting thing is, the more I do it, the less I feel the need/desire to waste time. The early mornings are actually a perfect time to do the dishes or run to the grocery store; Teagan is in a great mood right after waking! But that requires me to not waste time, which means I'm getting up, getting ready, getting everyone dressed, and getting us out the door. It's not difficult to do (we are about to head out the door now...at 8:30...the kids have only been up for about 30 minutes!), I just typically don't do it. During Teagan's nap, I have initiated a "quiet time"; Ian has to either play quietly in his room or play in the backyard for 30-40 minutes while Mommy reads her Bible. Today is day three. The first day went well, though Ian did pop out every few minutes to ask if quiet time was over. Yesterday did not go as well, with him crying and destroying his train set and bed because he wanted to play in the living room. Today we are getting a timer so when it goes off, he'll know when we're done. Hopefully that will help. They say it takes 6 weeks to make something a habit. So with three days down (I'm counting today, although it hasn't happened yet!) we have 39 days left until this should be a habit. Which is, incidentally, the number of days left until Christmas. What better way to celebrate Christ's birthday than with a new habit that actually puts Him in a priority position in my life? And I know that by doing that, the other pieces of my life will start to fall into the places they should be at, especially my husband and my children.
So, wish me luck. I feel better each day and this is only the beginning. I am very hopeful that this is the kick start I have been needing for the last few months to get me out of the funk that I seem to be stuck in.
One of my biggest failings as a Christian is that I don't spend time in the Word. Like, at all. I will tell you with 100% certainty that I just don't have TIME...that's CRAP. I just choose to spend the time doing other things. Like the cycling through the internet thing. If I can find time for that, surely I can find a few minutes to spend with God! And it's not just that I spend time doing useless things, I spend time doing things that need to be done, but I do it in a way and at times that really don't allow me to make the most of the hours in the day. For example, my mornings are always chaotic and for no reason other than that I make them that way. We get up. I spend time on the computer. I might make my way to the shower an hour later. I might get dressed after that...or not. I'll know we need to do our schooling and/or run errands. But we CAN'T because Teagan is almost ready for her morning nap...yeah. I basically waste two hours every morning. I get her down for nap, then I have to do the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher). On schooling days, depending on how we did in the morning before nap, we either finish that up or I clean up from it. If it's a cleaning day (typically Monday and Friday) I will clean. These are all important things, but things that could be done more efficiently and at better timing.
Don't get me wrong, I am BUSY. My days seriously feel non-stop, go-go-go. Even when I'm doing my computer cycling, I'm constantly up doing other things. I just find myself back in this chair looking at things that don't matter as opposed to getting ready to do something else that we should or could be doing.
So this week, I have started to use my time intentionally. And the interesting thing is, the more I do it, the less I feel the need/desire to waste time. The early mornings are actually a perfect time to do the dishes or run to the grocery store; Teagan is in a great mood right after waking! But that requires me to not waste time, which means I'm getting up, getting ready, getting everyone dressed, and getting us out the door. It's not difficult to do (we are about to head out the door now...at 8:30...the kids have only been up for about 30 minutes!), I just typically don't do it. During Teagan's nap, I have initiated a "quiet time"; Ian has to either play quietly in his room or play in the backyard for 30-40 minutes while Mommy reads her Bible. Today is day three. The first day went well, though Ian did pop out every few minutes to ask if quiet time was over. Yesterday did not go as well, with him crying and destroying his train set and bed because he wanted to play in the living room. Today we are getting a timer so when it goes off, he'll know when we're done. Hopefully that will help. They say it takes 6 weeks to make something a habit. So with three days down (I'm counting today, although it hasn't happened yet!) we have 39 days left until this should be a habit. Which is, incidentally, the number of days left until Christmas. What better way to celebrate Christ's birthday than with a new habit that actually puts Him in a priority position in my life? And I know that by doing that, the other pieces of my life will start to fall into the places they should be at, especially my husband and my children.
So, wish me luck. I feel better each day and this is only the beginning. I am very hopeful that this is the kick start I have been needing for the last few months to get me out of the funk that I seem to be stuck in.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Hey...Your Baptist is Showing...
*Disclaimer: My husband and I are new believers. We just discovered that church can be contemporary, non-judgemental, and FUN in 2008 (the first time we went to church since being married and the first time either of us had gone without being taken by some random friend or relative as children on a random Sunday every-so-often) . Around the end of that year is when we both accepted Christ. I don't pretend to know everything, in fact, I spend most of my time with God quite confused and overwhelmed. I am not a theologian, and I am not a charismatic writer or speaker. I'm actually pretty long winded! This post will reflect ALL of that.
A little background since it's important to where I am heading with this. During the summer of 2008, in Las Vegas, a good friend asked me to try a new church with her. I didn't want to, but I can't say no (I'm working on that, but in this case, it turned out to be a good thing!). She showed up on Sunday morning, and Ian, in his 22-month-old glory, and I went to church. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. There was a fantastic place for the kids to play during the service. There was music and lights; they weren't singing hymns, it was like a contemporary concert! The pastor was a great speaker, it wasn't boring at all. The messages were completely relevant to life, they made sense to me. The following week, I brought Hazen; we were hooked.
Hazen seperated from the Air Force and we moved home. We found a church like the one in Vegas, though a bit more low key (we had gone from Vegas to Montana, after all!). The messages there were every bit as relevant. During our time there, we went through a huge crises in our marriage, and it was those services and our new faith that brought us through it. I would say it was the end of 2008/beginning of 2009 that we truly became believers.
Hazen rejoined the military. We moved to North Carolina. We joined a mega church that I will miss everyday for the rest of my life; it was THAT good. (www.mannachurch.com...we still listen to the podcasts. Michael Fletcher is the most amazing man I have heard speak.) We were baptised while attending that church. After a year, God (and the military!) had new plans for us and we headed to Texas. We found a new church, around 100 members maybe, and attended services there. It was like a family and we made great friends in the 2 short months the church was open, friends we still see every week for Bible Study and that will forever hold a special place in my heart. Unfortunately, some benchmarks were not hit and the church had to disband. We began attending the "mega" church here in town, PaulAnn Baptist, but it's never felt like home. However, we've wondered if that's because we will always be comparing every church we go to to Manna. *Note: it's called "PaulAnn Baptist" but it's contemporary. We hadn't heard a Baptist thing come from that place, the children's ministry has been great, the worship band is pretty good. Until...
They are doing baby dedications. I've felt guilty because we have never dedicated Ian. He was simply too old by the time we learned about dedications. As soon as I heard about it I was like "Yes! Let's dedicate Teagan!" I had really hoped Manna would do a dedication while we were there, but with her birth being on a Sunday and our impending move to Texas, we only had two services after she joined our family; a dedication didn't happen in those two weeks. In that church and our one in Helena (Montana), dedications were simple. You went to the front, told about your baby, s/he was prayed over by the congregation, and wa-la! Dedicated baby! At this church, we had to register and pick up a packet. Okay, no big deal, right? Well...
In the packet, there was some paperwork and a CD. There were some cool aspects, I thought, such as some "homework" that required you to set goals for yourself and your baby about what kind of person you'd like them to be over the next 18 years. They also wanted three pictures of the baby, which I feel makes it very personal and more of a celebration than other dedications we've witnessed--I loved that! But the sign up form had a few requirements. The first three weren't a big deal: complete and return the form by such-and-such date, child must have been born in the last year, the parents must be believers. Number 4 is where we ran into problems: "Father and mother must be married. We do not believe in Dedicating a child born to unwed parents who are living together. If this describes your situation, we would love to talk to you about what we believe the Bible teaches in this area. If single, we would love to meet with you to discuss your particular situation. Approval to do the dedication will be determined by staff after the meeting. Number 5. All candidates must be approved by Pastoral Staff of PABC.
This was heartbreaking to read. Obviously we're married and this doesn't apply to us. But what about those who it does apply to? Those babies are less deserving of having their lives dedicated to God than my baby? Says who? And single mothers: they have to plead their case to the staff? What an awful feeling to have to be judged with the very real possibility that after that embarrassment, they will be told "no". And I don't imagine gay couples are even given any kind of consideration. How completely sad. I just really can't understand completely disqualifying certain babies because of their parental situation. The Bible tells us that he knew EVERY ONE of us before we were ever conceived in our mother's womb. We are created in His timing. If he didn't want an unwed mother becoming pregnant, she wouldn't. But that baby she is carrying was put there by God. Gay and Lesbian couples adopting or becoming pregnant through donations or surrogacy: those babies were created by God. They all deserve to be given up to Him, just as much as my beautiful girl who was created during my straight marriage.
I admit, I still really wanted to do the dedication. My baby is already 7-months-old, and registration ends this week. We have to decide NOW. Hazen is completely opposed and wants to find a new church ASAP. At first I thought he was being a little dramatic, but last night I was up with the baby and couldn't go back to sleep. As much as I hate to ever say this (haha): he is right. Completely right. One of my hangups was pulling Ian out of a church, a children's ministry, that he seems to enjoy. He has friends, he has fun. BUT what happens as he starts getting older? What kinds of things is he going to start learning from that ministry? Will it be against what we believe, that we are not the ones to place judgement on anyone? Will more Baptist ideology begin to make itself seen over the coming months and years?
This is not intended to be against Baptists, we just AREN'T Baptist. Those aren't our beliefs and they are not the beliefs we want to pass on to our children. We thought we were in a church that simply held the name from it's Baptist roots and had transformed into one of the welcoming, open, contemporary style churches we have come to love. We were obviously mistaken. I don't want to start over in seeking a church home, but I also don't want my children being taught to think themselves better than anyone. And I truly fear that is where we are heading if we stay at this church.
A little background since it's important to where I am heading with this. During the summer of 2008, in Las Vegas, a good friend asked me to try a new church with her. I didn't want to, but I can't say no (I'm working on that, but in this case, it turned out to be a good thing!). She showed up on Sunday morning, and Ian, in his 22-month-old glory, and I went to church. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. There was a fantastic place for the kids to play during the service. There was music and lights; they weren't singing hymns, it was like a contemporary concert! The pastor was a great speaker, it wasn't boring at all. The messages were completely relevant to life, they made sense to me. The following week, I brought Hazen; we were hooked.
Hazen seperated from the Air Force and we moved home. We found a church like the one in Vegas, though a bit more low key (we had gone from Vegas to Montana, after all!). The messages there were every bit as relevant. During our time there, we went through a huge crises in our marriage, and it was those services and our new faith that brought us through it. I would say it was the end of 2008/beginning of 2009 that we truly became believers.
Hazen rejoined the military. We moved to North Carolina. We joined a mega church that I will miss everyday for the rest of my life; it was THAT good. (www.mannachurch.com...we still listen to the podcasts. Michael Fletcher is the most amazing man I have heard speak.) We were baptised while attending that church. After a year, God (and the military!) had new plans for us and we headed to Texas. We found a new church, around 100 members maybe, and attended services there. It was like a family and we made great friends in the 2 short months the church was open, friends we still see every week for Bible Study and that will forever hold a special place in my heart. Unfortunately, some benchmarks were not hit and the church had to disband. We began attending the "mega" church here in town, PaulAnn Baptist, but it's never felt like home. However, we've wondered if that's because we will always be comparing every church we go to to Manna. *Note: it's called "PaulAnn Baptist" but it's contemporary. We hadn't heard a Baptist thing come from that place, the children's ministry has been great, the worship band is pretty good. Until...
They are doing baby dedications. I've felt guilty because we have never dedicated Ian. He was simply too old by the time we learned about dedications. As soon as I heard about it I was like "Yes! Let's dedicate Teagan!" I had really hoped Manna would do a dedication while we were there, but with her birth being on a Sunday and our impending move to Texas, we only had two services after she joined our family; a dedication didn't happen in those two weeks. In that church and our one in Helena (Montana), dedications were simple. You went to the front, told about your baby, s/he was prayed over by the congregation, and wa-la! Dedicated baby! At this church, we had to register and pick up a packet. Okay, no big deal, right? Well...
In the packet, there was some paperwork and a CD. There were some cool aspects, I thought, such as some "homework" that required you to set goals for yourself and your baby about what kind of person you'd like them to be over the next 18 years. They also wanted three pictures of the baby, which I feel makes it very personal and more of a celebration than other dedications we've witnessed--I loved that! But the sign up form had a few requirements. The first three weren't a big deal: complete and return the form by such-and-such date, child must have been born in the last year, the parents must be believers. Number 4 is where we ran into problems: "Father and mother must be married. We do not believe in Dedicating a child born to unwed parents who are living together. If this describes your situation, we would love to talk to you about what we believe the Bible teaches in this area. If single, we would love to meet with you to discuss your particular situation. Approval to do the dedication will be determined by staff after the meeting. Number 5. All candidates must be approved by Pastoral Staff of PABC.
This was heartbreaking to read. Obviously we're married and this doesn't apply to us. But what about those who it does apply to? Those babies are less deserving of having their lives dedicated to God than my baby? Says who? And single mothers: they have to plead their case to the staff? What an awful feeling to have to be judged with the very real possibility that after that embarrassment, they will be told "no". And I don't imagine gay couples are even given any kind of consideration. How completely sad. I just really can't understand completely disqualifying certain babies because of their parental situation. The Bible tells us that he knew EVERY ONE of us before we were ever conceived in our mother's womb. We are created in His timing. If he didn't want an unwed mother becoming pregnant, she wouldn't. But that baby she is carrying was put there by God. Gay and Lesbian couples adopting or becoming pregnant through donations or surrogacy: those babies were created by God. They all deserve to be given up to Him, just as much as my beautiful girl who was created during my straight marriage.
I admit, I still really wanted to do the dedication. My baby is already 7-months-old, and registration ends this week. We have to decide NOW. Hazen is completely opposed and wants to find a new church ASAP. At first I thought he was being a little dramatic, but last night I was up with the baby and couldn't go back to sleep. As much as I hate to ever say this (haha): he is right. Completely right. One of my hangups was pulling Ian out of a church, a children's ministry, that he seems to enjoy. He has friends, he has fun. BUT what happens as he starts getting older? What kinds of things is he going to start learning from that ministry? Will it be against what we believe, that we are not the ones to place judgement on anyone? Will more Baptist ideology begin to make itself seen over the coming months and years?
This is not intended to be against Baptists, we just AREN'T Baptist. Those aren't our beliefs and they are not the beliefs we want to pass on to our children. We thought we were in a church that simply held the name from it's Baptist roots and had transformed into one of the welcoming, open, contemporary style churches we have come to love. We were obviously mistaken. I don't want to start over in seeking a church home, but I also don't want my children being taught to think themselves better than anyone. And I truly fear that is where we are heading if we stay at this church.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Feeling More Optimistic...
The last couple weeks of homeschooling have been hard. It's been so upsetting because the first week-ish went so well! He doesn't want to do school, he claims he's "sick for school", he messes around and goofs off the entire time, he just doesn't want to listen!
Monday and Tuesday were rough, so we went ahead an implemented the new three-day week I've been considering (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday). I took an entirely new approach yesterday (Thursday) and it went really well. I am so hopeful that we are on track now!
We were veeeery laid back. We got out of bed and dressed and ate and all those things. He got on the computer and played his Word World game for a bit, and I didn't push him to finish. Then we went ahead and started a new math lesson (I'm having a hard time believing he is going through the math so fast, but I think he genuinely gets bored with the material after the first time he goes through it...I'm sure that will change...right??), and stopped that as soon as he wanted. He then went back and played some more Word World. We basically went back and forth between the computer, snacks, lunch, and lessons until about 1:30 (during the first week we were done by 10!). Yesterday was the first day he asked "Can we do more letters?" Letters are his least favorite thing, so that was a big deal! I considered it, but I wanted to stop while he was still enjoying himself; I worried that continuing would take the fun he was experiencing out and I definitely do NOT want that. If he asks to do more letters today, we will, even though today is technically our science/library/off day.
One thing I have learned without a doubt: absolutely NO TV before school. None. Ever. Bad idea. I've noticed for a long time that the TV tends to turn him into a different kid, but sometimes the temptation for a few minutes of quiet is too great. It's not worth it; the 30 minutes of peaceful Dora time turns into an entire day of cranky "I wanna watch my shows! School is stupid!". Lesson learned! He was allowed to watch Despicable Me once we finished school, but the TV went right off afterwards. It seemed to work well.
I did add "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" to our rotation. We've only done one lesson so far, but he seemed to have fun with it. So I'm hopeful that will be a good supplement for us.
Monday and Tuesday were rough, so we went ahead an implemented the new three-day week I've been considering (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday). I took an entirely new approach yesterday (Thursday) and it went really well. I am so hopeful that we are on track now!
We were veeeery laid back. We got out of bed and dressed and ate and all those things. He got on the computer and played his Word World game for a bit, and I didn't push him to finish. Then we went ahead and started a new math lesson (I'm having a hard time believing he is going through the math so fast, but I think he genuinely gets bored with the material after the first time he goes through it...I'm sure that will change...right??), and stopped that as soon as he wanted. He then went back and played some more Word World. We basically went back and forth between the computer, snacks, lunch, and lessons until about 1:30 (during the first week we were done by 10!). Yesterday was the first day he asked "Can we do more letters?" Letters are his least favorite thing, so that was a big deal! I considered it, but I wanted to stop while he was still enjoying himself; I worried that continuing would take the fun he was experiencing out and I definitely do NOT want that. If he asks to do more letters today, we will, even though today is technically our science/library/off day.
One thing I have learned without a doubt: absolutely NO TV before school. None. Ever. Bad idea. I've noticed for a long time that the TV tends to turn him into a different kid, but sometimes the temptation for a few minutes of quiet is too great. It's not worth it; the 30 minutes of peaceful Dora time turns into an entire day of cranky "I wanna watch my shows! School is stupid!". Lesson learned! He was allowed to watch Despicable Me once we finished school, but the TV went right off afterwards. It seemed to work well.
I did add "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" to our rotation. We've only done one lesson so far, but he seemed to have fun with it. So I'm hopeful that will be a good supplement for us.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Teeth and Bragging
We'll start with my baby girl; she has TWO teeth! We had an appointment on Thursday the 8th to re-measure her head (don't know if I mentioned it here, but at her 4-month appointment she had a 5th percentile head so we had to go back in after a month to re-check it). Her head is now up to the 15th and she is perfectly fine. Well, on our way out the ped said "and you know she has some teeth coming in, right?" We knew she was teething, but didn't realize how close she was to popping a tooth; the first one was out the next day, and the second followed on Saturday. My poor girl is a whiney, non-sleeping mess. This baby who has slept through the night almost since birth is now waking several times a night, and last night was every hour. She is currently napping and has been for three hours, with one short wake-up to nurse. I'm hoping her being able to sleep now means that the pain and fussiness is starting to subside and we can both get some rest tonight! I spent a little while on Friday crying and feeling sorry for myself since my baby is growing up. I didn't expect her to get a tooth so early, at just shy of 5 1/2 months. I'm going to miss her beautiful gummy grin, and I just don't know if we will have another baby to experience that with. I'm not crying anymore, so I guess I'm feeling better about it.
Now, for my brag. I ran 9 miles yesterday. Seriously, RAN a full 9 miles. No walking. Just running. It was AMAZING. I have been training for my half marathon for 11 weeks now, and I have been so discouraged. It is hot here in Texas (haha), and people kept trying to tell me that the heat is HARD to run in. I didn't believe it, I thought I was just not trying hard enough or that I'm just not made for running. I wasn't having fun AT ALL. I was having difficulties running for more than a mile without walking. Then, last Tuesday, the evening temperature dropped into the 80s. I set out on a 4-mile run and it felt great! I was so surprised and I felt like I could run forever! It got dark and I got afraid (and some jerkwad honked and yelled at me just to scare me while I was running), so my run was cut to 3.11 miles but I ran the entire thing. It was a first and I was so giddy afterwards.
Thursday was my next run for the week, another 4-miler, but this time I tried taking the kids in the jogging stroller; it was horrible. Ian whined the entire time and I could only run about .6 miles before needing to walk. That stroller gets heavy with two kids totalling 60lbs sitting in it! And then on Saturday I woke up feeling awful, but had a 3 mile run that I needed to do. I made it just over a mile before the dizzyness and nausea hit. I did just over two miles and slept most of the day. I was really fearing for the nine mile run that was waiting for me the next day, especially since the previous week I'd had a 7-miler that I walked half of. No fun!
I got to the base (only place I feel comfortable running in the dark, and if I don't want to die of heat stroke it has to be done in the dark), and I felt really good. I started off thinking "If I could run 6.25, that would be awesome. That would be double what I ran on Tuesday." So I ran, and ran, and ran and I just wasn't tired. I was breathing easily, my body wasn't hurting, no cramping. I just listened to my music and ran all over, looking at everything and getting myself pumped up. At mile 5 I had my first GU experience (a gel that endurance sport people use...full of carbs and caffeine to fuel and energize your body during strenuous exercise). That stuff was interesting, I tell you. I'm so glad I was completely alone when I took it because I'm sure my face was horrendous. Swallowing it was so difficult...definitely going to have to get used to the texture! At that point I realized "Wow! I'm still not tired...I think I'm going to run this entire thing!" I kept going, and going, and still felt great. My iPod died at 6.25 miles which was just depressing. I was stuck with just my thoughts then, and I am not the most interesting person to talk to...all I could think was "I hope the baby doesn't wake up hungry, I hope the baby doesn't wake up hungry" since she adamently refuses bottles of pumped milk (going to try a sippy next...I'd really like her to accept one of those before my next long runs and before the race!).
Finally, with 7.75ish miles completed, the fatigue started to set in. The GU had given me a huge energy kick from the caffeine, and I was struggling for those miles to not go too fast. That eighth mile actually ended up being my fastest, at 12:05. I kept staring at my Garmin, and the mile just went soooo sloooowly. Once it beeped that my eighth mile was complete, I told myself there was no way I was going to run that far and walk the last mile. No way. So I made myself go, despite the fact that my legs and chest were starting to burn. I finished in an hour and 57 minutes, with a 13:05 average pace. I suddenly feel like a "runner" and feel pretty confident that I will finish my race next month, and I will finish it with a smile on my face. I can't wait.
Now, for my brag. I ran 9 miles yesterday. Seriously, RAN a full 9 miles. No walking. Just running. It was AMAZING. I have been training for my half marathon for 11 weeks now, and I have been so discouraged. It is hot here in Texas (haha), and people kept trying to tell me that the heat is HARD to run in. I didn't believe it, I thought I was just not trying hard enough or that I'm just not made for running. I wasn't having fun AT ALL. I was having difficulties running for more than a mile without walking. Then, last Tuesday, the evening temperature dropped into the 80s. I set out on a 4-mile run and it felt great! I was so surprised and I felt like I could run forever! It got dark and I got afraid (and some jerkwad honked and yelled at me just to scare me while I was running), so my run was cut to 3.11 miles but I ran the entire thing. It was a first and I was so giddy afterwards.
Thursday was my next run for the week, another 4-miler, but this time I tried taking the kids in the jogging stroller; it was horrible. Ian whined the entire time and I could only run about .6 miles before needing to walk. That stroller gets heavy with two kids totalling 60lbs sitting in it! And then on Saturday I woke up feeling awful, but had a 3 mile run that I needed to do. I made it just over a mile before the dizzyness and nausea hit. I did just over two miles and slept most of the day. I was really fearing for the nine mile run that was waiting for me the next day, especially since the previous week I'd had a 7-miler that I walked half of. No fun!
I got to the base (only place I feel comfortable running in the dark, and if I don't want to die of heat stroke it has to be done in the dark), and I felt really good. I started off thinking "If I could run 6.25, that would be awesome. That would be double what I ran on Tuesday." So I ran, and ran, and ran and I just wasn't tired. I was breathing easily, my body wasn't hurting, no cramping. I just listened to my music and ran all over, looking at everything and getting myself pumped up. At mile 5 I had my first GU experience (a gel that endurance sport people use...full of carbs and caffeine to fuel and energize your body during strenuous exercise). That stuff was interesting, I tell you. I'm so glad I was completely alone when I took it because I'm sure my face was horrendous. Swallowing it was so difficult...definitely going to have to get used to the texture! At that point I realized "Wow! I'm still not tired...I think I'm going to run this entire thing!" I kept going, and going, and still felt great. My iPod died at 6.25 miles which was just depressing. I was stuck with just my thoughts then, and I am not the most interesting person to talk to...all I could think was "I hope the baby doesn't wake up hungry, I hope the baby doesn't wake up hungry" since she adamently refuses bottles of pumped milk (going to try a sippy next...I'd really like her to accept one of those before my next long runs and before the race!).
Finally, with 7.75ish miles completed, the fatigue started to set in. The GU had given me a huge energy kick from the caffeine, and I was struggling for those miles to not go too fast. That eighth mile actually ended up being my fastest, at 12:05. I kept staring at my Garmin, and the mile just went soooo sloooowly. Once it beeped that my eighth mile was complete, I told myself there was no way I was going to run that far and walk the last mile. No way. So I made myself go, despite the fact that my legs and chest were starting to burn. I finished in an hour and 57 minutes, with a 13:05 average pace. I suddenly feel like a "runner" and feel pretty confident that I will finish my race next month, and I will finish it with a smile on my face. I can't wait.
Learning. Boy Are We Learning
I am a schedules person. We do this at this time, we do that at that time. We must have worksheets and tangible, see-able proof that we have been working today. MUST, MUST, MUST. It ain't working.
Ian is a very hands-on kid. He likes to build, he likes to play, he likes to color, he likes to run. I've been getting frustrated because he doesn't want to stop playing with his math blocks. I've been allowing him to play for a few minutes, and then telling him it's time to get on with our lesson. This hasn't been working. He gets annoyed at me, and then refuses to do anything because he just wants to play. I get annoyed because we are supposed to be schooling, and he won't cooperate. Obviously not a very productive situation.
So today we tried something a little new. It was basically a "back-off, Mom" day where he got to choose what we were going to do, when. We still got to everything, but I let him have a lot more play time and I followed his lead. We generally start our day with our Bible Story, with some kind of book and craft. I have a fun Adam and Eve book that also has a DVD with the story and games on it for this week. I was excited to try it out, and so was Ian, but he was MORE excited to move onto Lesson 11 in math. So that's what we did. We threw out the schedule and we started with math. We built with the blocks, we took our time, and when he was acting "done" I just asked that he finish the last two problems on the sheet we were working on and we would move on. It seemed to work...no meltdowns!
After our Bible Story, he decided he needed a break. So we took that time for recess. He was allowed to pick a game on the computer and play for a little bit. When he was done, we made the letter "D" with the play-doh we made for science last week and worked on handwriting. We were going to play a matching game, but it became clear quickly that he didn't want to. I didn't get frustrated, I accepted it, and we finished for the day.
We didn't get everything done that I had hoped to, but it's okay. He learned and he played and we stopped before either of us were in breakdown mode. I hope I can continue with this more relaxed approach. It's not "me" but the point of homeschooling is to tailor it to "him". I need to keep that thought at the forefront of my mind otherwise, what are we doing this for?
We may cut our school week down to three days depending on how the next couple of days go. Right now we do Monday-Thursday and Science on Friday. We may do a Monday, Tuesday, Thursday schedule keeping Science on Friday (he has no idea we are doing school during Science-time...seriously, he looks for bugs and makes play-doh!). The last couple of weeks have been difficult, with him being *DONE* by Thursday, which of course gets me agitated because we don't get anything accomplished. So we'll try one more week with the four days and the new laid-back approach, and if we are still having problems we will try the other schedule next week. This year is going to be full of trial and error.
Ian is a very hands-on kid. He likes to build, he likes to play, he likes to color, he likes to run. I've been getting frustrated because he doesn't want to stop playing with his math blocks. I've been allowing him to play for a few minutes, and then telling him it's time to get on with our lesson. This hasn't been working. He gets annoyed at me, and then refuses to do anything because he just wants to play. I get annoyed because we are supposed to be schooling, and he won't cooperate. Obviously not a very productive situation.
So today we tried something a little new. It was basically a "back-off, Mom" day where he got to choose what we were going to do, when. We still got to everything, but I let him have a lot more play time and I followed his lead. We generally start our day with our Bible Story, with some kind of book and craft. I have a fun Adam and Eve book that also has a DVD with the story and games on it for this week. I was excited to try it out, and so was Ian, but he was MORE excited to move onto Lesson 11 in math. So that's what we did. We threw out the schedule and we started with math. We built with the blocks, we took our time, and when he was acting "done" I just asked that he finish the last two problems on the sheet we were working on and we would move on. It seemed to work...no meltdowns!
After our Bible Story, he decided he needed a break. So we took that time for recess. He was allowed to pick a game on the computer and play for a little bit. When he was done, we made the letter "D" with the play-doh we made for science last week and worked on handwriting. We were going to play a matching game, but it became clear quickly that he didn't want to. I didn't get frustrated, I accepted it, and we finished for the day.
We didn't get everything done that I had hoped to, but it's okay. He learned and he played and we stopped before either of us were in breakdown mode. I hope I can continue with this more relaxed approach. It's not "me" but the point of homeschooling is to tailor it to "him". I need to keep that thought at the forefront of my mind otherwise, what are we doing this for?
We may cut our school week down to three days depending on how the next couple of days go. Right now we do Monday-Thursday and Science on Friday. We may do a Monday, Tuesday, Thursday schedule keeping Science on Friday (he has no idea we are doing school during Science-time...seriously, he looks for bugs and makes play-doh!). The last couple of weeks have been difficult, with him being *DONE* by Thursday, which of course gets me agitated because we don't get anything accomplished. So we'll try one more week with the four days and the new laid-back approach, and if we are still having problems we will try the other schedule next week. This year is going to be full of trial and error.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
My Reviews
Sorry this has taken me so long. I really shouldn't say that I will post something by a certain time because it never happens. And holiday weekends are the absolute worst to try and accomplish anything, especially this particular one since the temps in Texas dropped about 20 degrees--woo-hoo!
Okay, on with it. Keep in mind we are only on week 2, so these reviews may change. But these are my initial impressions.
Math U See (I will commonly refer to this as MUS): WONDERFUL. I LOVE this program. It is so much fun and so hands on. Ian is so completely enthralled with the blocks, they get him excited for math (his favorite subject, for now at least). He enjoys watching the short video before each lesson, and is always eager to dive in. It is so much fun to watch him "get" it. He can now recognize numbers through 99 just because of the way the DVD explains everything. I was pretty "eh" about the DVD, but apparently there is something about the guy and the words he uses that helps things "click" for young kids. This program is split into 6-page lessons. Three pages cover the new material for the lesson, and three pages are a review of the current lesson and all previous lessons. There are some days that Ian can get through an entire lesson in one day, and days where he only wants to do the practice and doesn't end up doing any of the pages in the lesson. This seems to happen when he doesn't fully get what we're doing, but once the concept sticks with him, he flies through the lesson. To show how well he is doing with this program, we are on lesson 10, and we have only been doing school for 6 days (we do Monday-Thursday). He loves it.
Handwriting Without Tears (HWT): This one has its plusses and minuses. I didn't order the wood pieces that you can "build" the letters with, but I did use the template in the teachers guide to cut some out of cardboard. He likes playing with those and making the letters. The problem with this program isn't the program's fault. One of the concepts is to use a small chalkboard for "wet, dry, try". I write the letter with chalk, then Ian uses the "rules" to trace the letter with a wet sponge, then a dry cloth. The point is repitition. This part works great, the problem comes during "try", where he takes the chalk and writes the letter himself. The issue is that he doesn't like getting the chalk dust on his hands (little kids, I tell ya...) so he runs to the bathroom after every "try" to wash them (on the days he's willing to try. Most days he refuses). So I'm going to get him a little whiteboard to "try" on. We'll do the "wet, dry" on the chalkboard and then he can "try" on the whiteboard. Hopefully that will solve some of the problem, and still allow us to get the repitition he needs. The program doesn't teach the letters in order, they are grouped by the way that they are written. For example, F, E, D, B, P, M, and N are all together because they are "frog-jump" letters. What this means is that you start at the top, draw the first line, then "frog-jump" back to the top to continue the letter. Using that kind of language seems to really help Ian remember how to form the letters.
Hooked on Phonics (HoP): It's hard to review this one so far. I went too quickly at first, and now he is all confused. I also made the mistake of trying to teach him different letters than he was learning to write (HoP does go in alphabetical order), but I've adapted it so that we are learning the same letter in Hop as HWT. It makes some of the activities for HoP a little difficult to time (after each group of letters there is a review), but it keeps me from bombarding him with too much information, which just causes him to shut down. Hopefully this new strategy will allow me to undo the confusion I first caused. I do really like the kit that we got. I went ahead and ordered the PreK rather than the Kindergarten since he doesn't know all his letters and sounds (this stuff doesn't interest him the way numbers do), so I wanted to start at the basics, with the hope that we will be able to get through it fairly quickly and then start on the Kindergarten kit also this year. Our kit, the PreK Learning to Read, comes with TONS of stuff. Two CD Roms with games that Ian really enjoys, several flashcards, three workbooks, a picture dictionary, three story books and three progress posters with stickers. The progress pictures really get him excited, and there is a set of flascards that allows us to play "Memory", one of his current favorites, with the letters he knows. There are some really big cards that I like. I pull out the letter that we are working on and I show it to him periodically through the day, making sure he remembers it. The size makes them great because they are hard to lose and he can see them from a distance.
So those are the actual "curriculums" that we are using. I'm pretty much winging it for social studies, science, and Bible Study. I've found some free sites that give ideas and free printables for him to color. For science, we get a child's book each week and then do the activity in the book. For example, last week we read "Under One Rock: Bugs, Slugs, and Other Ughs" all about a little boy who lifted a rock and found all sorts of bugs. After reading, we went outside and lifted rocks, and then drew pictures of what we found. Very simple, but a lot of fun for him and he got to learn about bugs he didn't know about before.
Okay, on with it. Keep in mind we are only on week 2, so these reviews may change. But these are my initial impressions.
Math U See (I will commonly refer to this as MUS): WONDERFUL. I LOVE this program. It is so much fun and so hands on. Ian is so completely enthralled with the blocks, they get him excited for math (his favorite subject, for now at least). He enjoys watching the short video before each lesson, and is always eager to dive in. It is so much fun to watch him "get" it. He can now recognize numbers through 99 just because of the way the DVD explains everything. I was pretty "eh" about the DVD, but apparently there is something about the guy and the words he uses that helps things "click" for young kids. This program is split into 6-page lessons. Three pages cover the new material for the lesson, and three pages are a review of the current lesson and all previous lessons. There are some days that Ian can get through an entire lesson in one day, and days where he only wants to do the practice and doesn't end up doing any of the pages in the lesson. This seems to happen when he doesn't fully get what we're doing, but once the concept sticks with him, he flies through the lesson. To show how well he is doing with this program, we are on lesson 10, and we have only been doing school for 6 days (we do Monday-Thursday). He loves it.
Handwriting Without Tears (HWT): This one has its plusses and minuses. I didn't order the wood pieces that you can "build" the letters with, but I did use the template in the teachers guide to cut some out of cardboard. He likes playing with those and making the letters. The problem with this program isn't the program's fault. One of the concepts is to use a small chalkboard for "wet, dry, try". I write the letter with chalk, then Ian uses the "rules" to trace the letter with a wet sponge, then a dry cloth. The point is repitition. This part works great, the problem comes during "try", where he takes the chalk and writes the letter himself. The issue is that he doesn't like getting the chalk dust on his hands (little kids, I tell ya...) so he runs to the bathroom after every "try" to wash them (on the days he's willing to try. Most days he refuses). So I'm going to get him a little whiteboard to "try" on. We'll do the "wet, dry" on the chalkboard and then he can "try" on the whiteboard. Hopefully that will solve some of the problem, and still allow us to get the repitition he needs. The program doesn't teach the letters in order, they are grouped by the way that they are written. For example, F, E, D, B, P, M, and N are all together because they are "frog-jump" letters. What this means is that you start at the top, draw the first line, then "frog-jump" back to the top to continue the letter. Using that kind of language seems to really help Ian remember how to form the letters.
Hooked on Phonics (HoP): It's hard to review this one so far. I went too quickly at first, and now he is all confused. I also made the mistake of trying to teach him different letters than he was learning to write (HoP does go in alphabetical order), but I've adapted it so that we are learning the same letter in Hop as HWT. It makes some of the activities for HoP a little difficult to time (after each group of letters there is a review), but it keeps me from bombarding him with too much information, which just causes him to shut down. Hopefully this new strategy will allow me to undo the confusion I first caused. I do really like the kit that we got. I went ahead and ordered the PreK rather than the Kindergarten since he doesn't know all his letters and sounds (this stuff doesn't interest him the way numbers do), so I wanted to start at the basics, with the hope that we will be able to get through it fairly quickly and then start on the Kindergarten kit also this year. Our kit, the PreK Learning to Read, comes with TONS of stuff. Two CD Roms with games that Ian really enjoys, several flashcards, three workbooks, a picture dictionary, three story books and three progress posters with stickers. The progress pictures really get him excited, and there is a set of flascards that allows us to play "Memory", one of his current favorites, with the letters he knows. There are some really big cards that I like. I pull out the letter that we are working on and I show it to him periodically through the day, making sure he remembers it. The size makes them great because they are hard to lose and he can see them from a distance.
So those are the actual "curriculums" that we are using. I'm pretty much winging it for social studies, science, and Bible Study. I've found some free sites that give ideas and free printables for him to color. For science, we get a child's book each week and then do the activity in the book. For example, last week we read "Under One Rock: Bugs, Slugs, and Other Ughs" all about a little boy who lifted a rock and found all sorts of bugs. After reading, we went outside and lifted rocks, and then drew pictures of what we found. Very simple, but a lot of fun for him and he got to learn about bugs he didn't know about before.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)