I have been on the mini pill since Teagan was about 6 weeks old. I don't really know why other than that I wanted to make sure to get through the first year of her life without becoming pregnant again. I feel very strongly about breastfeeding AT LEAST through the first year (and ideally until self-weaning), so I wanted to be sure to give her at least that. Plus, I want to give her her time to be "the baby".
Now, if you know anything about my history, you know thinking that pregnancy is likely/possible in the first year is ridiculous. I was only on BC for about two months after we were married. 22 months later, we finally got pregnant (not trying, not preventing) only to miscarry shortly after. 6 months after that, with hardcore TRYING we got pregnant with Ian; so 28 months total. While I was in my early 20s and at the supposed "peak" of my fertility. I didn't get a period until Ian was 17 months old, he weaned at 22 months. We started trying right around then, and 22 months later, we finally got pregnant with Teagan. So, seriously, I'm not getting pregnant this year. I'm just not. But mentally, I felt the need to do *something* to be sure, just to give all the benefits I can to Teagan. (I do know it is completely possible to breastfeed through an entire pregnancy and even tandem nurse once the new baby comes. But I also know a lot of babies/toddlers self-wean during pregnancy, and I don't want to risk that before we've hit the 12-month mark.)
I used the minipill for the first 17 months with Ian, then used the NuvaRing for a couple of months to regulate my cycle after that (my first period was stopped after 6 weeks by switching to the ring). I really didn't have any noticeable side effects from the minipill, though I didn't start it until Ian was 6 months old since the hubby was deployed and I had no need of any kind of birth control. This time, however, oh my goodness. I am a mood swinging mess. It was tolerable when there was some "swing" in my moods, meaning I was happy at least part of the time, but over the last few weeks I have been pretty much miserable. I'm just cranky and angry all the time. And I have ZERO sex drive, which is unfair for my poor husband (not that he wants to spend all that much time around me right now anyway!).
So, three days ago, I stopped taking the pill. Already I feel a HUGE improvement in my mood (could also have something to do with that fact that Teagan slept 9 hours straight last night for the first time in weeks!). I'm alert, I'm happy, I have my motivation back. I was starting to feel concern that I should be getting checked out for post partum depression, but the fact that each day off the pill has been markedly better than the day before has me hopeful that that was the main source of my issues, not PPD.
I've never liked the idea of hormonal BC, I don't like to "mess" with things, but at the same time I don't really know what else to do. Right now it's not such an issue. I'm only 8 months postpartum; I likely have a good 9-12 months before I even start cycling again (based on my previous experience with Ian). The problem comes once I do start. Based on my last experience, there is a good chance I will bleed and bleed until I do something to stop it-something hormonal. Once it stops, I'm not so worried about getting pregnant again. We would like one more, though we know it will probably take awhile, if it even happens at all. BUT the catch is that I have endometriosis. And the best treatment for endo is pregnancy or birth control (or no period at all thanks to breastfeeding!). The longer I go without achieving a pregnancy once my period starts again, the worse the endo is likely to get. The worse the endo gets, the harder it will likely be to conceive. Once the endo has grown, there aren't many options outside of surgery for getting rid of it. I can reduce the symptoms by going on BC, but that obviously won't help us in conceiving. Add to that that Hazen doesn't want to go crazy trying again, he just wants to wait and see what happens; no doctors, no testing, no surgeries, no "deposits" in a cup...see the issue?
Oh well. For now I am BC free and totally happy. I guess I'll deal with the rest when the time comes.
